As university students across Canada wrap up their spring semester and many take a break before starting another academic year in the fall, some students are reflecting on one of the bigger challenges they face in their pursuit of higher education — imposter syndrome.
Feeling that you are inadequate or that you don’t belong is something many young Black and racialized people experience at different times during their studies.
Ariana Petrazzini knows this all too well. The 21-year-old Scarborough, Ont., native is going into her third year of health sciences at McMaster University in Hamilton.
Petrazzini said she’s always been “really, really interested in neurology,” and is hoping to pursue a career in medicine. But she said she’s had to deal with the feeling of not being intelligent, capable or creative enough to achieve her goals.
“The biggest thing I’ve had to battle is imposter syndrome,” Petrazzini told CBC Hamilton.
“Even just being in my program and looking at my peers around me, and I’d just feel a sense of, like, is it a mistake that I’m here? Am I as worthy as them?’
“And I think that’s something that a lot of Black students might face, just because, you know, sometimes we see ourselves underrepresented in these fields, and that can sort of take a toll in what we see as possible and what we see as, you know, just feasible,” she added.
Juliet Daniel, a McMaster University professor says imposter syndrome is a common feeling with many racialized students at Canadian universities.
Imposter syndrome includes feelings of self-doubt or whether you are worthy of belonging due to a lack of representation and other factors. Daniel said while universities now have more women students than men, women and gender-diverse students still more often feel imposter syndrome.
“Especially in STEM [Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics], every female student, regardless of ethnicity, South Asian, white, Black, Chinese they all have imposter syndrome,” Daniel said.
‘It’s very persistent and it sucks’
Rebecca Bekele has just completed her first year at McMaster University, where she’s pursuing her bachelor’s degree in health science.
“Imposter syndrome has been pretty persistent, especially in my first year,” she said.
“Even if you meet the same requirements and have similar credentials as the people around you, it’s still very easy to feel like you don’t belong, and that you kind of don’t deserve your place.”
You can be just as qualified as other people and still feel like you don’t really belong.– Rebecca Bekele, McMaster University student
Based on her discussions with others in her program, Bekele said “a lot of people feel that way,” noting that the admissions process is pretty competitive.
“But especially as a Black student and as a woman, existing at that intersection of race and gender, it can sometimes be very hard to kind of acknowledge your accomplishments. Even though other people could have accomplished similar things and you can recognize the greatness in that, you can’t see that within yourself,” she said.
“I’ve experienced a lot of that in my first year, a lot of feeling like I don’t deserve my place in my program at my school. It’s very persistent and it sucks … You can be just as qualified as other people and still feel like you don’t really belong.”
Calah Ajao moved with her family from Nigeria to Canada when she was nine years old.
Now 18, the Oshawa, Ont., resident will start her second year at McMaster’s health sciences program in the fall.
‘I can’t give up after working so hard to be here’
Throughout her first year, Ajao said she struggled with feelings of inadequacy and that she did not belong there.
“There were so many times where I felt like I didn’t deserve to be in the program,” Ajao said.
She said she was able to “cope with the imposter syndrome” by coming to terms “with the fact that there’s a reason why I was accepted into this program, and there’s a reason why I’m here right now in this university. I can’t give up after working so hard to be here.”
Roland Lightbourn, 20, is an international student from the island of Nassau in The Bahamas. He’s about to enter his third year, majoring in economics.
He said some of the feelings he has began at a younger age.
“I would do something super magnanimous, something that would be really praiseworthy, something that would benefit others in the long run, and it would be directed for me to just keep my mouth shut about it and not to express my internal appreciation for the work that I did,” he said.
“Celebrating myself was something that I would have to be hush, hush about.”
Lightbourn said he had to pull himself “out of a dark place,” after he moved to Canada and found himself falling back into his imposter syndrome.
“What I had to do was stand in front of the mirror every single morning and I would say three nice things about myself,” he said.
“Even if I didn’t believe it, I would keep repeating it to the point where I started to believe it and it restored my confidence and it just reestablished me into who I was.”
Student success centre offers help
He also sought wellness coaching from the Black Student Success Centre at McMaster.
“I spoke to [my mentor] about some of the issues that I was facing with just being confident in myself and reassuring myself that I’m capable of doing these things, despite me not believing in myself,” Lightbourn said. “He motivated me to be that young, excellent Black man once again that I know myself to be.”
Toluwalase Dayo-Olaide, 21, was born in the United States but spent most of his life in Nigeria. He immigrated to Canada in 2019 to start his undergraduate program at McMaster at the age of 16. He graduated in 2023 with an honours degree in biology, and is currently completing a master’s in biomedical innovation.
When faced with imposter syndrome, “I have to remind myself of the things I have done to get to where I am,” he said, adding that McMaster did not admit him just because he applied.
As the youngest student during his first year, Dayo-Olaide said he quickly learned to think of age being a benefit rather than a disadvantage.
Dayo-Olaide served as the program support assistant at the Black Student Success Centre from October 2022 to May 2023, when he graduated from undergraduate program. He then rejoined in January as a full-time mentor, “guiding students in transitioning out of university.”
“I think it’s really a blessing and it’s really a privilege for me to be in the position I’m in to help them like that,” he said.
“It’s really a blessing to have a great space on campus where you can just come together and find each other and build community and have a family [while you’re] away from home.”
The Black Student Success Centre at McMaster has been a source of help for dozens of students.
Having benefited from its support when she was a new student, Petrazzini has subsequently become a volunteer with the centre.
She said the centre supports racialized students in any way they might need it.
“What I’ve found is that it’s done an amazing job at creating a sense of community on campus for Black students, where you can go and just to have, you know, a fun conversation, a fun place and people to be around,” Petrazzini said.
“But also you can go to get real support. So, whether that be financially, whether that be counselling — both academic or career or simply talking to a counsellor — they’ve done an amazing job at supporting different Black-focused groups or clubs on campus.”
She said the centre’s work has been “really helpful in supporting first-year Black students.”
‘How do we get society to value every citizen?’
Daniel said having a mentor is one way those with imposter syndrome can cope.
“[Whenever I’m approached for help], first I acknowledge that they’re feeling it. I let them know that what they’re feeling is valid and it may never go away because those of us like me that have been in the system still get it occasionally,” Daniel said.
“I can tell you that every single female professor in STEM tells the students that we still feel it depending on the room we’re in. Many women in academia, even full professors, still have some level of imposter syndrome.”
Daniel said the question now is how to fix it.
“We’ve just all been acknowledging it and efforts to fix it have not been that successful,” she said.
“How do we get society to value every citizen and their contributions to society? We can’t be treating 50 per cent of the population as if they have no value.”
For more stories about the experiences of Black Canadians — from anti-Black racism to success stories within the Black community — check out Being Black in Canada, a CBC project Black Canadians can be proud of. You can read more stories here.
