Brantford author Sydney Brouillard-Coyle on the importance of talking openly about pronouns

The question “what are your pronouns?” is becoming more common, but the answer might not always be he, she or they.

Pronouns are evolving and it’s why author Sydney Brouillard-Coyle of Brantford, Ont., decided to write A Pocket Guide to Pronouns.

As part of a CBC Kitchener-Waterloo summer series of speaking to local authors, Brouillard-Coyle joined The Morning Edition with host Craig Norris ahead of an event this week at the Waterloo Public Library.

Brouillard-Coyle uses ney/nem/nir pronouns and talked about what it means to have an open dialogue when it comes to pronouns.

The following interview has been edited for length and clarity. The audio of the interview can be found at the bottom of this article.

Host Craig Norris: Tell us about A Pocket Guide to Pronouns and why you wanted to write it.

Sydney Brouillard-Coyle: The inspiration behind this book largely came from my lived experience as a non-binary person. I’ve often had questions from folks about how to use different pronouns, particularly for me as somebody who uses ney/nem pronouns, which is similar to they/them except with an N.

So that was part of the inspiration. I joked with a friend, ‘Oh, I wish there was just a guide to pronouns I could suggest to people.’ But also, I find that there is a deep interest from folks in wanting to learn about pronouns, wanting to learn about how to create safer spaces for queer and trans folks. So I’m honoured to be able to offer this guide and resource for folks.

Norris: For people who don’t maybe understand the difference, what is, from your perspective, the difference between they, them and their and ney, nem and nir?

Brouillard-Coyle: I personally used ney/nem because this pronoun set actually was created in 1850 and the N was chosen at the beginning of ney/nem to represent the word neutral. And that really resonates with my experience. 

So the actual way that these are used is very similar. So rather than saying ‘They went to the mall,’ you would say ‘Ney went to the mall.’ So the way they’re used is similar, but the end represents neutral, which is just really resonating and validating for me.

Norris: What exactly will people find in the book A Pocket Guide to Pronouns?

Brouillard-Coyle: The book is split into four different sections. 

The first section just kind of covers some of the basics about how we talk about the queer and trans community, as well as basics around pronouns.

The second section really dives into different types of pronouns that people will use, and it talks a bit about history of the different pronouns, kind of where they originated. There’s little charts that help show how you would use the different pronouns. 

And something unique about this section is I created short stories, little fiction stories ranging from somebody’s the last person on earth to somebody’s debut piano concert, all fun, different themes as a way of modeling how somebody would use these different pronouns. And my wonderful illustrator, Éoghan McCullough, created characters to accompany each of these stories.

The third section goes into some pronoun etiquette, frequently asked questions and discusses the harms of misgendering and some dos and don’ts. 

And then the final section goes into resources for further learning. There is an allyship checklist, a brief discussion about other ways we can use language to be intentionally inclusive, and then things like recommended books, videos, and websites where people can learn more.

Norris: This is still one of those topics that people might find confusing, but what kind of feedback have you been getting from readers?

Brouillard-Coyle: I was very intentional about making sure it was accessible to all kinds of folks. People often ask me who my target audience is and I say, honestly, everyone. Anybody who has a desire and passion to learn about this topic, this book is for them. 

When I was selecting my beta readers, as in the people who would read the book before it went to publishing, I was very intentional about having ages ranging from teenager to people in their 80s and 90s, people who were part of the community, who weren’t part of the community, who maybe didn’t know much of anything relating to pronouns. Just making sure that we could reach folks of all different backgrounds and experiences because this is such an important topic. So I do encourage folks to engage in this and learn.

Norris: What about people in the 2SLGBTQ-plus community? What are you hearing from them?

Brouillard-Coyle: Many of them have relayed to me that they’re so happy to see this type of guide. Personally, as somebody who uses ney/nem pronouns, I’ve never really seen that used in a book before. 

And there are basic guides that talk about, she, he and they pronouns, which is wonderful. But as remaining to understand language evolves and so do pronouns. 

So my book covers so many different pronouns and for folks in the querying trans community to use these different pronouns that commonly aren’t represented, I’ve heard that they feel very affirmed being able to see those pronouns represented and acknowledged.

Norris: [There was an event Wednesday night at Waterloo Public Library.] What conversations do you hope to spark with this talk?

Brouillard-Coyle: I am really honoured to be hosting my Waterloo book launch tonight in partnership with Spectrum Waterloo and PFLAG Waterloo-Wellington-Perth, two wonderful organizations were doing such important work in the area. 

As part of the event, I’ll be sharing a bit of the inspiration behind my book and some of my background, but we will also have a community conversation where we discuss the importance of pronouns and the importance of language in building safer spaces for queer and trans folks.

And this is just really important as we’re coming off of the Rainbow Week of Action last week in honour of the International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, Biphobia. We’re about to enter Pride Month.

This is just a really important and timely conversation about how everybody can take on a role in building safer spaces and supporting queer and trans folks.

Norris: What is next for you? Are you working on any other books?

Brouillard-Coyle: I do have a couple of books in the works, so stay tuned for sure, but I’m continuing with my activist work in various communities, so folks are welcome to follow me on social media. 

I will also be actually heading over to Western University this fall to pursue my PhD in gender sexuality and women’s studies, and I’m looking forward to continuing to combine my academic and writing work with my activist work.

LISTEN | Author chat with Sydney Brouillard-Coyle:

Throughout the summer, CBC K-W will be speaking with local authors. If you’re a local author who has a new book or event you’d like to speak to us about, let us know by emailing the newsroom.

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